Wednesday, March 19, 2008

the first sentence

My dad's sisters came by yesterday and I got to hear the story of my first words. Now I know why my mom and dad always had a hard time remembering what they were.. it's because they weren't there to hear them! The story went that my aunt D (and maybe aunt P but I'm not clear on that) was with my grandpa at the building site of our house. Apparently my dad was sort of detail oriented about how he wanted the house built, whereas grandpa was of the mindset "Lets just get it built" and on this particular day was doing a fair bit of griping. I was probably around age three and hadn't spoken a single word yet. It was very clear that I could understand everything that people were talking about but I was refusing to speak. So on that day, while grandpa was doing all this complaining I finally said my first words, which happened to come out in a perfectly formed sentence-

"What's YOUR problem?"

Thursday, March 13, 2008

this is it

I tried calling my mom this morning but only spoke with my aunt Nik. My mother apparently can't be bothered to take any calls this morning. Cause she's getting married this afternoon. Well this is it for me. If she marries this chump.. then I am putting some serious distance between her and I. I refuse to be dragged along for the ride towards the impending train wreck that is certain to result from this course. I can't allow myself to be close to her and not be affected by her really bad decisions and since nothing I have to say seems to make any difference I need to separate from her to protect myself and my family. It really sucks that my kids beg to go see gramma but I can't let them go over there when there is a strange man that I don't know or trust. I think my mom may be having a mental breakdown.. or she's always been this crazy and I just didn't realize it. I fear it may be the latter.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


ugh. I just called my mom to ask her how it's going and she said that it was still on for tomorrow. She apparently has no backbone. I told her that nothing has changed. He's still insecure and controlling and yet she's letting him call the shots. If she gets married tomorrow then I'll know it's because he wants to and she doesn't and yet she doesn't have the nerve to stand up for what she wants. My respect for her is very minimal at this point and it's only going to go completely down the drain if she goes through with this supremely dumb decision to marry this kid.


Just when I had pretty much come to terms with the realization that my mother had lost all sense of rational thinking she surprises me yet again. She showed up at my house this morning with the news that instead of getting married tomorrow she's going to break up with John today and ask him to move out.

Wow. I was really stunned. Happily stunned but still very surprised that she actually came around to realizing that getting married to this guy probably wasn't a good idea. She had just come from a meeting with her therapist (whom I know also thought this was a bad everyone else in the known universe) and I suspect that her realization must have been helped along by whatever they talked about. She confessed that John is controlling and insecure and that she just knows it wouldn't have worked out. She doesn't want another divorce in her future. (Note: These are all things that I told her.. especially the stuff about this guy being obviously insecure and controlling by pushing this marriage issue so early in their relationship.)

Being as I don't really have much trust left in my mother after all the less than stellar decisions she's made in the last 4 years or so, I'm only allowing myself a modicum of happiness about this decision. I don't want to get all ecstatic that she's come to her senses only to find out that she's been talked out of this by John and ends up marrying the dude anyway. She did seem pretty resolved to this decision though so I doubt that will happen. When he's moved out I'll breathe a bigger sigh of relief. I've only exhaled halfway at this point.


Today I discovered a photography technique called Through the Viewfinder. It's basically using a camera (usually digital) to take a picture through the viewfinder of another camera- usually one with a large viewfinder like an old Kodak Duaflex or the like. But before I read about what type of cameras these photos were being taken through, I went and grabbed my mom's really old, broken Canon AE1 SLR and tried taking some pictures through it's really tiny viewfinder. I had some not so satisfying results and then went and learned about the Duaflex and promptly went to Ebay and put in a bid for one. It isn't like I really need another hobby but I've sort of had limited interest in photography lately and this new technique has revitalized it so I'm going to run with it for awhile.
Here's my favorite result of my first hasty attempts at this. A few more can be seen on my flickr account.

I'm off to bed now.. I'm up waaay to late reading about this ttv business!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

its hopeless

My mother will not listen to reason. When faced with logical and valid concerns about her decision to marry her boyfriend of two months next week she (and his) only response is that they are doing it because they want to and because they can.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

The Patchwork Tree

Knitting has been taking a back seat to my newest interest- embroidery. My first project was a blended piece. The trunk of the tree was knitted in some novelty yarn and then couched onto the fabric background. It was pretty much freeform. I didn't draw anything out beforehand and just dove in and started stitching. I learned a lot and went through stages of not liking results and then just continuing to work the piece until I liked it more. Ultimately, I'm happy with my results from my first foray into embroidery. Well.. not technically my first since I did a couple things in high school but this was the first time that I actually picked up a book to learn a specific way to stitch.
I'm on the home stretch of my second project. I think I'm done with the main image and now I just need to put a fabric back on it and finish the edges nicely. I'm still trying to decide what color to use for the border. I'm thinking I'll keep it minimalistic and just use some black fabric for a border with stitching done around in the same color as the branches.